Yesterday we published this blog post detailing 10 bad opening lines for college essays. After much thought, we’ve decided to go through the examples individually and explain exactly why they don’t work. Keep reading for our breakdown:
“There have been many experiences throughout my life that prove that I am a tolerant person who is good at communicating”
The best common app essays tell stories about who you are as a person. This also means that your essay should read like a story. Have you ever read a non-fiction book, and chapter one tells you exactly what the story should be about? Neither have we. Instead of telling the reader what they’re about to read, just start your story from the very beginning.
“Throughout history….”
The very mention of these two words means that you’re looking outward. You’re going back, not just in time, but in the literal history of the world. If your common app essay is about something that happened in the past, that’s fine. As long as the “something” happened to you, and in your life.
“Barack Obama once said…”
We’ve cautioned against writing about famous people and family members many times before. Your common app essay should be about you, not an influential figure. Another word of advice: keep the audience in mind because you never know how they’re going to feel about someone. And this advice doesn’t apply to our former president, but you should also avoid writing about, or quoting, someone polarizing.
“Due to the fact that I’ve moved multiple times, I’m able to connect with everyone I encounter.”
If you were considering writing something like this, please reread our advice for #1. This introduction would bore the reader, and give away what’s to come. We suggest figuring out which qualities that you’re trying to express (in your head,) and then writing a story that best demonstrates those traits. In other words, let the story speak for itself.
“The ACLU just reported updated statistics on voter suppression in 2020. They suggest that…”
Mentioning statistics is a surefire way to make your essay about an issue, and not yourself. It’s good to be passionate about causes, but your common app essay is not the best place to write about them. There are tons of supplements that ask questions about what you care about, so if something is truly important to you, you can likely find a home for that information there.
“You might think that it’s impossible for someone who is the student body president and the head of the robotics team to run a book club for fun, but I do.”
Humility is important, and bragging is not good. If you do want to write about an actual setback that you’ve overcome, please make that you’re focusing on the steps you took instead of focusing the essay on the problem you’ve faced. Focus on how you moved forward.
“There has never been a more influential figure than Susan B. Anthony.”
Susan B. Anthony is not applying to college—you are. See #3. No matter how “good” we perceive a person to be, writing exclusively about someone other than yourself is never a good idea. If you are going to introduce a secondary character, you should know them personally, and they should only act as a mirror for the personality trait that you’re trying to get across.
“All that glitters is not gold.”
Cliché phrases and common sayings are not ideal starting points because they’ve all been heard before. These “themes” are often overused, and when essays fall into this trap, you’re placed into a bucket. Instead of actually writing the phrase, think about what it means to you, and tell your story.
“I have wanted to go to X school since I could walk, and the rest of my essay will explain exactly why”
Most notably, your common app essay will go to every single school that you apply to that uses that common app. So, you certainly don’t want to dedicate that essay to just one school. Also, the goal is to write about the soft skills that you’ll be bringing to college. Be true to who you are and let your personality shine, and then use your supplements to explain why you’re a perfect fit for X school.
“HEY LOOK AT ME”
Shock value will get you noticed, but it will not be in a positive way. There is such a thing as bad press. We’ve been sent essays via our blog that aim to get our attention, and sometimes, the writers don’t even agree with the outlandish statement that they’re making. Please, do not go this route.
Our goal with going through these examples with a fine-tooth comb is to help our blog readers write common app essays that make sense. Remember: tell a story, don’t give it away at the beginning, and focus on yourself.
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