We’ve written a lot about the creative process as it relates to writing college essays. You have to ask yourself hard-hitting questions, get vulnerable, and show a side of yourself you might not initially feel comfortable broadcasting to a team of admissions counselors. This advice applies to all essays, but there’s an additional task at hand when it comes to writing a transfer essay. Along with all of the above, you must also make a case for yourself as to WHY you want to transfer, and why the school you’re applying to is the only place in the world where you can find what you need.
It’s true that you have a lot to prove with a transfer essay, but that doesn’t mean your essay has to sound like a legal argument. This essay hits all of the marks and doesn’t sound like it was written by a lawyer/robot.
My favorite transfer essay from 2019 begins with the below:
“I’ve loved reading history books for as long as I can remember, and growing up I read them the way most people read Harry Potter. When I was in middle school, I was captivated by the history of the Three Kingdoms. A few years later in high school, I became obsessed with the history of the Qing Dynasty.
When I got to college I took a class on the history of espionage. I immediately dedicated myself to an independent study, as I wanted to dive into the role of the Chinese Communist intelligence and the Nationalist intelligence during the Second Sino-Japanese War and how that served as a factor that influenced the outcome of the Chinese Civil War. I’ve spent the last four months analyzing this topic and I need access to specific documents to finish my thesis.”
The first ~140 words of this essay provide a glimpse, albeit a brief one, into the background story of this student. The first paragraph is short but it sets a scene. Had this essay started with a harsh demand of needing highly specific thesis documents, it would be pretty hard for an admission counselor to warm up to the student. Instead, she explains (in as few words as possible, because we’re only working with 650 words here) exactly why she likes what she likes. Our student didn’t randomly decide on a thesis and then decide to transfer just for fun. She grew up loving history, immediately took a class that was related to that interest, and then decided to do an independent study that lead to her thesis topic.
Jumping to the middle of the essay:
“I did an independent study at [school], but the professor that oversaw my research was not an expert in my field of interest.”
There are two things I love about this sentence and the paragraph that follows. The first thing is that this sentence shows exactly how our student made the best of the resources that she had at her disposal. It’s not enough to say “my major isn’t available, so I’m taking general classes until I get to where I really want to be.” You need to show admission counselors that you’re doing what you can with what you have. Writing about conducting an independent study at a school that lacks expertise in your field of interest is a great way to do that. Secondly, you should never talk negatively about your current school. This sentence explains plainly that the resources are not available, but she doesn’t harp on her school. It’s not dramatic. Plus, no one likes a complainer.
What follows this sentence is an incredibly specific list of classes and professors that our student spent hours researching. Reasons for wanting to transfer should be followed with things (extracurricular activities, classes, professors, programs, etc.) that you plan to undertake once you get accepted.
Towards the end of the essay, the focus shifts to things our student is looking for outside of the classroom. It would be easy to get up caught up with purely academic reasons here, but instead, she shows what else she plans to do with her time.
“My goal is to attend a school with a strong Chinese history program that shares the same deep appreciation of Chinese history and culture as I do.”
This is not a throwaway sentence. This sentiment relates back to our student’s genuine love for Chinese history and her Taiwanese roots. If this sentence was used early in the essay, an admissions counselor might think “well…why?” But when you read the rest of the essay, her appreciation of Chinese culture is made completely clear. All of the classes, professors, and cultural events written about (along with the reason for WHY she’s interested) relate back to both her thesis and background.
An important note on reasons for why you want to take certain classes: When you’re looking at a course catalog, there are (hopefully) many classes that sound interesting. Who wouldn’t want to learn about the gross overuse of plastic or the evolution of Jazz music? But we can’t stress enough how important it is to dissect the syllabus and find specific areas of interest to write about. So, it’s not “I want to take Macroeconomics because I look Micro last year and it’s the logical next step.” In this essay, our student wrote about reading material, optional class trips, supplemental documents, and even midterm writing prompt to explain why she’s interested.
Working on this essay was one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve had because together, we were able to write incredibly detailed and specific essays that resonated deeply with our student. Writing transfer essays can be overwhelming but we were able to find out what’s most important and focus on those aspects with a personal touch.
Want help crafting your essay? Contact us here.